JOKES

1)Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"Doctor: "Nine."

2)A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

3)Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

4)What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

5)Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?

RIDDLES

Q1): Peter’s smart phone fell into a big mug of coffee but didn’t get wet. How was this possible?

A: It was coffee powder.

Q2): What has two legs but cannot walk?
A: A pair of trousers.

Q3): What stays in the corner all the time but travels around the world?
A: Stamps.

Q4): What gets quickly wet while drying?
A: The towel.

Q5): Maybe I can hear everything but you'll never hear me say a word. Who am I?
A: Your ear.